Fare you well, fare you well

I love you more than words can tell

Floyd, Orion and I are absolutely devastated to share this…

On Sunday, November 30th, we said goodbye to John. He passed away peacefully, with dignity, without fear, on his own terms, and surrounded by love.

John was an extraordinary man: an incredible father, a devoted and loving husband, a wonderful son and brother, a fiercely loyal friend, and an undeniable force of life. He had a gift for bringing people together through a rare combination of curiosity, generosity, and sheer energy that made every conversation feel meaningful, whether debating some obscure idea or laughing about the absurdities of life. He listened with sincerity, he spoke with intention, and he cared with a big, unguarded heart.

His love was profound, whether for his family, his friends, his communities, or even his faithful furball, Katniss (who somehow found one of his old hospital bracelets and brought it to me this morning).

In his presence, you felt understood. You felt welcome. You felt like the best version of yourself was not only possible but already visible to him. That was his quiet superpower, and he used it every day to lift, to encourage, and to connect so deeply that you never felt alone around him.

John lived with incredible passion, seeming to pour a lifetime into every year, as if he knew that his time would be shorter than it should have been. He worked hard. He lived big. He never held back. He lived authentically. And when John set his mind to something, he did it, every time. He accomplished more in 55 years than many do in far longer.

One of John’s greatest loves and gifts was his extraordinary ear for music. From his post-UMass days playing with yeP! to his years with Venus Envy and the Phish cover band Chum, he built not just bands but tight-knit communities. His talent on the keys and his passion for sound left a mark on everyone lucky enough to hear him play. And his love of Phish wasn’t just fandom; it was joy, curiosity, exploration, improvisation…everything that also lived inside him.

John was happy in so many places: spending time with me and the boys, watching sports (especially his beloved Philly teams), or sitting at the keyboard playing Phish – sometimes just for himself, sometimes in front of a room full of people lifted by his sound. Wherever he was, whatever he was doing, he poured so much passion, humor, curiosity, and energy into it that he made every moment bigger and brighter.

Originally from Philadelphia, he maintained his connections with family and friends even after moving across the country. His adventurous side, his love of biking, and his easy smile all started early in life. He loved his Philly crew, whether back home or gathered at the Kezar Pub (which he helped transform into an Eagles stronghold).

John built a beautiful life with his family in San Rafael. Neighbors became family and the community wrapped around all of us. He cherished the friendships formed through the kids’ schools, the parents and classmates who became part of the daily rhythm of their lives. Whether being the loudest voice in the bleachers, catching up on the street, or hosting impromptu gatherings, John helped make the neighborhood feel warm, connected, and alive.

He turned his battle with leukemia into a mission. Over 15 years, through endless biopsies, procedures, infections, and pain, he never complained, not once. He didn’t live in fear, but with purpose, grace, strength, and dignity. He raised millions of dollars for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (now called Blood Cancer United) and served on its board with passion and pride. (Many of you have asked about donating in John’s honor, for which we are deeply grateful. We ask that you wait until our son Orion launches his Student Visionary of the Year campaign for Blood Cancer United in January. I will share the link as soon as it’s ready. Thank you.)

But above all, he adored his family. He was my best friend for over 25 years. He gave me the greatest gifts of my life: our two incredible sons. Floyd and Orion carry so many of his best qualities: they are smart, loyal, kind, curious, and full of heart. He loved exploring the outdoors with them: hiking the Headlands, adventuring in Marin, or discovering new places on the trips he planned with so much care and excitement. He gave the boys a love of adventure and connection to the world.

It breaks my heart that he won’t see them graduate from high school or college, walk down the aisle, or hold their own children. But I truly believe he is still here with us, protecting us, guiding us, and loving us in ways we will continue to feel. Whatever paths they take, I know John would be proud of them.

Even at the end, John did everything the way he lived: with clarity, intention, and love. And when it was time, we held his hand and let him know that his work here was done. That we would be OK. That it was time for him to rest. That he would always be a part of us. That we would carry him with us forever.

The boys and I are absolutely shattered, but we are surrounded by an incredible network of love and support. Our family, friends, and communities continue to hold us up in ways we will never forget. Thank you.

If the lasting impact of one’s life is best measured by how one has affected others, John’s legacy is truly and immeasurably rich. John touched countless lives. We will carry forward the lessons of how he lived: to engage fully, to ask good questions, to love fiercely, to be generous, and to treasure and lift the people who walk beside us. Though we would give anything to have more time with him, the time we did have was a precious gift.

In that spirit, we would love to hear your stories: moments when he made you laugh, lifted you, showed up for you, or simply made your life brighter. You can view and add photos and memories here (https://photos.app.goo.gl/4ajkibg8KQkUaZkS7) (https://photos.app.goo.gl/4ajkibg8KQkUaZkS7).

Thank you for loving him - and us.

We love you, papa.

Heather, Floyd & Orion 💚